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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| as of monday, april 30th, i'll be posting blog entries at http://rhodes18.blogspot.com.
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| i know this because there's been a spate of semi-creepy older men ogling my calves these days. And it always begins the same way: do you run a lot?
i get it. gloria was right - my calves are like breasts. clearly the breast tissue had to go somewhere because it sure as hell didn't wind up in my chest. the wacky g-d who did headstands to reveal plaid boxer shorts under her smiting-ware was obviously responsible for this situation.
but seriously, what is it about men commenting on my body in the same strange ways?
like the time i was in the hospital with pancreatitis, and all of my doctors made the same bad joke during the abdominal exam: here's the problem - you have a puncture wound. hahaha. see kids, don't pierce your bellybuttons or you, too, will suffer excruciating abdominal pain and be forced to endure the ministrations of lame asses who took the same bad course on bedside manner. be warned.
so yes, if you're going for predictable but inoffensive flattery, try commenting on my eyes. if you're looking to be creepy, well, look elsewhere...since f%$*ing with me is officially ill-advised.
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| i was still starving after eating a moderately-sized bowl of pasta for lunch, so then i attacked a package of pepperoni. now i'm feeling mucho, mucho sick.
bleh.
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| i spent a good twenty minutes staring at myself in the mirror and crying. scrunched nose and sad alligator tears. crying like a little boy who hasn't yet been taught that real men don't do that. (yeah, right...but i digress)
crying because i'm so excited for the first time in a very long time and so terrified that it's all just a tease. i'm referring, of course, to my impending trip to the land of milk and honey and falafel. terrified because of the not-so-secret secret: i don't really have a back-up plan.
if, at the end of july, i have no funding and no other job offers, i'm headed back to the 'ham. to do what, you ask? i really couldn't say. to tread water, i imagine. to finally acquiesce and let grandmother introduce me to nice southern boys and to pretend that all of this is enough.
probably not.
so i logged on to pour my heart out (or maybe just to whine) when i was sidetracked by a happy email and by my new favorite blog.
good night.
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